Happy Belated Hearts Day

As usual, it's been a while since I've posted. Not for lack of ideas, but for lack of time to proofread and post. Today I realized I have 4 posts "in the can", but the journalist in me needs to decide whether they're "timely" enough to post. One post, which I think is a really good one, is about Halloween, so maybe I can hold on to it for this October. Time will tell what happens to that or the others.

But I digress. I really wanted to tell you about my Valentine's Day. I really wasn't feeling it this year and I'm not exactly sure why. But once Johnny told me I had options for our night out , I got excited for several reasons: he took the time to come up with options, they were creative/not our usual go-to date ideas, and they were easy, laid-back, simple fun.

We went to Maryland Live! Casino. It's fairly new and not too far away, so I thought it was a great idea for us to take this opportunity to check it out. We ate at one of their restaurants (not really a restaurant - you order your food, they give you a umber, eventually bring it to your table, then you eat - end of service). We lost $20 each at the 25-cent slots (although I'm sure someone came behind me and hit BIG on my machine). We stopped at The Cheesecake Factory and got me a slice of red velvet cheesecake, and went home. That was it. And it was one of our best dates ever.

And...on top of all that, I got to spend the day at home with my hubby and my boys. I was working, but at least we were all together. Just thought I'd share.

What are Y'all Doing Tonight?

We are visiting family in our hometown this weekend and doing some things to prepare for my sister's wedding next March. A good friend of mine remembered that we'd be around, and sent a text asking, "What are y'all (the hubby and I) doing tonight?" My response was "Hahahahaha", but I really meant something more like "Bruhahahaha!" I continued, "No one has asked me that in YEARS!" I wasn't trying to be a smart ass at all. In part, I think I was amused at the fact that someone thought enough of post-baby-Us to ask us to join them at the last minute on a Saturday night. I was probably more amused at what cornballs we have become, that I couldn't even imagine myself taking my friend up on her offer to join her and her boyfriend on a double-date. 

After sharing the text with the hubby and ROFL at ourselves, I answered the question in my head. Here's how the conversation went - again, in my head: 

Friend: What are y'all doing tonight? 

Me: The same thing I do every night: pray that my kids fall asleep early enough for me to be able to go to bed early.

Let me be clear. I'm not complaining about being a mom (or about the fact that we are two cornballs who couldn't name one social hotspot even if we tried). We have two beautiful, amazing boys who give us more love and joy than anything in this world. I just think it's funny how much our lives have changed now that we're three years into the parenting game. But as I type, I'm remembering the nights when there were no kids...and a lot of options for things to do and people to visit. And we still didn't partake in all of them. So has life really changed that much? Probably not. Is it hilarious that a simple "What are y'all doing?" made us laugh as hard as we did? Yep. 

Spicing Things Up!

The hubby and I have decided to spice things up in our marriage.

GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER...I'm talking about during mealtime.  So, we've decided to do meal theme nights (as was previously suggested by a friend of ours, but only recently did we decide to do it).  We're just a little bored at the dinner table, and thought this would make things better by forcing us to try new recipes within each theme (you'll see those below).  I also hope it'll make things easier so I don't have to worry myself trying to think of things to eat every night.


The plan is below...hopefully I'll remember to come back and give an update on how it's going.  (My memory is really bad these days as I try to keep up with two very active little boys.)

Tex-Mex Mondays (tacos, enchiladas, quesadillas, etc.)
Seafood Tuesdays (we are so not well-versed in seafood, so please share your ideas!!!)
American Wednesdays (anything from burgers and hot dogs to baked chicken, etc.)
Vegetarian Thursdays (just to give us a break from eating meat every day)
Italian Fridays (cheesy goodness!)
Asian Saturdays (this could also include those frozen P.F. Chang's meals, right?)
African/Caribbean Sundays (I REALLY need help with this one...please share recipes!!!)

Maybe this can help you too.  Or, maybe you have a better idea.  Either way, please feel free to share your recipes and meal ideas for all of us who are living Black love.

Edited to add...yeah this meal planning thing never happened.  But maybe it will in the future, so I definitely wanted to post it anyway!

A Minor Change

I'm having trouble putting it into words, but Johnny and I have decided that living Black love is about more than just dating and marriage relationships.  So we're changing up the blog just a little bit.  You'll still see posts about Black love and marriage, but you'll also see a broader range of topics covered.  That's because when you're living Black love, you're experiencing all kinds of things - from planning the perfect engagement, to raising your kids the best way you know how, to looking for ways to keep yourself in top MILF condition. You're navigating relationships with your best girlfriends, while navigating your way through the workforce.  You may be a father looking for the best ways to spend some quality time with your kids, or give your wife a break.

In short, what's on our minds as we navigate our lives is what we're going to write about.  A lot of what we're thinking is probably, at least, some of what's on your mind.  So hopefully you'll get to the point where you just can't wait for that next post.  And hopefully with more to write about, we won't keep you waiting too long.

My Boo

I cannot get this song out of my head!  I'm not talking about the theme song to Nick Jr.'s Team Umizoomi (though that one's in my head too, thanks to my big boy).  I'm talking about the song "My Boo" by Alicia Keys and Usher.  I've always liked the song, but recently it got me to thinking...

I'm always excited when one of my single girlfriends has a new boo.  I'm interested in hearing all about how they met, how he makes her feel, and if she thinks he has the potential to become more serious.  I suppose it's because I can relate.  I remember how it felt when I first started dating Johnny.  I was giddy too.  All day every day.

Now, almost nine years into our relationship, and almost six years into our marriage, I gotta say I'm not quite so giddy.  Not all the time.  And you know why.  Over time, reality sets in.  Things aren't so new and shiny anymore, what was once cute (hair in the sink, socks left behind, smelly farts) now irks the you-know-what out of you, you're paying bills, taking care of kids, killing yourself at work, and the list goes on.  The monotony of life can get the best of you. 

Don't get me wrong, I do have giddy moments - like when Johnny brings home a sweet card, or when we have a date night planned.  But I'd like to get to a place where it feels like it felt back in '04.  All giddy, all the time...or at least a lot more  of the time.  And I want to do what I can to make sure my hubby still feels it too (like how I used to cry early in our long-distance relationship when he had to return home after a weekend together).

I (and everyone out there who's lost their giddy) would appreciate your comments and suggestions on this one.  I'd especially like to hear the perspective of some of you single folks.  How do we get our giddy back?

What is Black Love?

Over the holiday, I had dinner with two good girlfriends of mine, one of whom recently got engaged to her boyfriend. She's Black, he's White. Her good news, along with the most recent installment of Soledad O'Brien's Black in America series on CNN brought to the forefront a question I've been pondering since we started this blog - What exactly is Black Love and how is it defined? (For the record, O'Brien's recent special asked the question, Who is Black in America?  For more, click here to read CNN's In America blog.)

Last spring, Johnny and I had a delicious brunch at Miss Shirley's Cafe in Baltimore. Emphasis on delicious.  It was a quadruple date (plus two of us couples brought our children - it was brunch, after all) with my cousin and her then-fiancé-now-hubby, and two other couples. Part of the meal was spent cheerfully discussing how the engagement went down as well as their wedding plans. During the course of the conversation, the question about the meaning of Living Black Love came up again. My cousin wasn't sure if her relationship was considered Black Love because her guy isn't African-American (he's biracial - White and Puerto Rican). My first thought (and statement, if I remember correctly) was, you're Black, and even if he's not, it is Black Love.

Right?

So, whaddya say? Please don't hesitate to share your thoughts.

Rewriting Those Vows

About a week and a half ago, I received one of several devotionals I see in my email inbox daily.  It's the Moments with You Daily Devotional from Family Life.  It talked about wedding vows - the marriage covenant all of us married folks made with God on our respective wedding days.  The devotional went on to discuss how we make those vows waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay before really knowing the person we're marrying - "before years of sharing the same house, the same bathroom, the same dishwasher, the same everything".  And before realizing all the little things that get under our skin about that person.  Even if you lived together beforehand, it's like something clicks once you're married.  Suddenly picking up underwear off the floor, or seeing a bunch of hair in the bathroom sink no longer seems cute.

At the end of the devotional, you're challenged to pray that God keeps you contented in your marriage for the lifetime you vowed to be together (and it talks about how).  It also suggests that you reaffirm your commitment to your spouse in a short letter.  So, I did.  I'll share a few snippets from my new vows to my hubby with you.  Hopefully it will encourage you to take 5 minutes and write a list of new vows to your spouse.  And maybe your spouse will surprise you with some new ones too!

• To love unconditionally (FYI, unconditional love means "regardless of one's qualities or actions")
• To listen
• To show grace (just like God has shown me, and all of us for that matter)

Again, those are just a few.  Please comment below if you thought of any you'd like to share.

This post was inspired by the Moments with You Couples Devotional from September 13, 2012.  If you have trouble finding it through the Family Life site, you can also read it here.