A Minor Change

I'm having trouble putting it into words, but Johnny and I have decided that living Black love is about more than just dating and marriage relationships.  So we're changing up the blog just a little bit.  You'll still see posts about Black love and marriage, but you'll also see a broader range of topics covered.  That's because when you're living Black love, you're experiencing all kinds of things - from planning the perfect engagement, to raising your kids the best way you know how, to looking for ways to keep yourself in top MILF condition. You're navigating relationships with your best girlfriends, while navigating your way through the workforce.  You may be a father looking for the best ways to spend some quality time with your kids, or give your wife a break.

In short, what's on our minds as we navigate our lives is what we're going to write about.  A lot of what we're thinking is probably, at least, some of what's on your mind.  So hopefully you'll get to the point where you just can't wait for that next post.  And hopefully with more to write about, we won't keep you waiting too long.

I Love the Reeds!

Though I do love our real-life friends "C" and "D" Reed, they aren't the Reeds I speak of. I'm talking about the fictional family from BET's new show, "Reed Between the Lines". Not only are they easy on the eyes (dang, Malcolm-Jamal Warner!), but you can tell that they have a lot of love for each other. I love a good show with a good family dynamic.

Alex (played by Warner) and Carla (played by one of my all-time faves, Tracee Ellis Ross) are Living Black Love. They're really into each other. Both have careers, but their main focus is family. Alex and Carla always make time for their kids, whether it's teaching them a life lesson or sharing a laugh. More importantly, they put each other first. I've noticed that in every episode, there's a scene where they have some time alone. That's so important in a marriage - especially when there are children involved.

Something else that stood out to me is the fact that the oldest two children, twins Keenan and Kaci, are not Alex's biological children. That's something I'm sure many couples who are Living Black Love deal with every day. If you happened to miss the episode where that part of the story was mentioned, you'd never know! Alex's patience and love for the twins is no different than his actions toward the Reed's youngest (biological daughter), Alexis. And the same goes for Keenan and Kaci. The whole family just loves on one other. I love it!

Honestly, "Reed Between the Lines" gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside every time I watch. Now I'm just waiting to see how Alex and Carla's first big fight turns out...

Yesterday, we hosted a barbeque for some of Johnny's friends from work. It was a small group of us eating, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. Our guests had a lot in common with one another - there was one couple who got married in May, another half-couple (one of them couldn't make it due to a family emergency) that is planning a wedding for early next year, and a third couple who recently got engaged.

As someone who can finally admit that my husband and I have passed through the honeymoon stage (Johnny's been telling me our wedding is "played out" for years now, so I guess I'm a young veteran), it was interesting to listen to the young couples as they spoke. They excitedly shared their engagement stories, wedding plans, honeymoon mishaps, and goals for the future (babies on the brain, of course!). What was really interesting to me was that they were so busy with the excitement of the weddings that they just planned or are planning, that they can't see that after some time, the magic of the wedding will fade away and reality will set in.

The busy-ness of life can easily creep into a marriage - work, children, bills, and other responsibilities - pushing out the optimism and allowing all kinds of negatives to come in. So my question is, what can we folks who are living black love do to keep our marriages as shiny as the rings we exchange on our wedding day?

The answer came to me as I texted a friend who's just over a week into her marriage (Ahh...I remember a week into my marriage. We were just returning home from our honeymoon in Aruba. Ahh...Aruba!). She shared with me how she's a little stressed about being a good wife to her new husband, with everything else that's going on in her life (see "busy-ness", above). I gave her some advice, but I think she gave me some too! I don't necessarily think you should stress about being a good wife (because stressing gets you nowhere) - but I do think you should give it all you've got (Like that song by I don't know who). And I believe that if you are even thinking about what you can do to be a good wife, that's a start. The same goes for the husbands.

So let's plan to take a hint from these and other "Young Marrieds". In their early days, weeks, and months of marriage, they are just as happy and grateful to be with the person they waited all their lives for. They stand in front of a bunch of people and cry as they open up their hearts to their betrothed. And they stress about being the best they can be for that person. Maybe we should think back how we felt in the beginning to help us strive to be the best spouses we can be. In the meantime, if you have any other suggestions, please post and share them.

Game Night

If you spent your time listening to all the media hype, you'd believe that all Black women are single, searching for a "good Black man". You'd think that Black men don't want to be married. Excuse my french, but I think that's B.S.

A huge part of the inspiration for this blog are the married couples Johnny and I know. Whenever we spend time with our married friends, we leave feeling excited, encouraged, and recommitted to one another.

We recently attended a game night outing with seven other couples who are Living Black Love. Check out some of the pictures from that night. They are proof that Black love is alive and well.