That Couple that Prays Together

Why doesn't my body work as quickly as my mind? As I made my way downstairs to sit in front of our laptop, I had in my head exactly what I was going to write in this post. By the time I logged in and ate a few fries (I'm just eating dinner as I am posting this because Little J.Z. refused to fall asleep without me next to him) all of those eloquent thoughts were lost! So, here's my attempt at re-creating my original post.

Whether you are married, engaged, or in a relationship, I'd argue that prayer should be a major part of it. I'd also argue how much easier said than done that is. I pray. Johnny prays. One of us usually prays with our son at meals and before bedtime. But rarely do we pray together - as a pair or as a family. Shame on us!

Today we turned over a new leaf. I was getting ready to leave for work and Johnny stopped me and said he wanted us to pray. Though I was running late, I obliged, and I am so glad I did. First off, it was a great prayer. My hubby is not very detailed, or long-winded when it comes to praying, and he usually sticks to the point. This prayer was not very different than usual, but this time it was about the content of the prayer. I left home feeling ready to overcome any challenges I'd face. I just knew the day would fly by and it would be easy, and I'd have the best day ever because we had prayed.

Well, my day wasn't the happily ever after I had expected. I had to drag a student out from under her desk at lunch time, my grade level chair reminded me of more work that needed to be done in addition to the laundry list of things I was already behind on, and the more time that passed, the more busy and talkative and disobedient my students became. So no, our family prayer this morning didn't make my day any easier, but it did make my day more bearable. Somehow, I was able to better cope with all of the mess I dealt with today. And somehow, it didn't feel as bad as it usually does when those things happen. Johnny said it helped him too.

So why not pray with your spouse or your honey? If you have children, include them in your prayers too. I've never known prayer to hurt a situation. Have you?

Oh...and if you don't know how to pray, it's soooo simple. Just talk to God. I always start by thanking Him for whatever I am thankful for, because He's the one who's provided those things to me. Then I ask him for whatever I need help with or guidance on.

One Plus for January 19, 2012

I am on a mission to say one positive (hence the plus) thing about my husband per day. It's so easy to focus on what our spouses are not doing (I'm soooo guilty), but we all need to challenge ourselves to keep a "glass half-full" outlook on our marriages - and everything else, for that matter.

Please share your One Plus about your spouse below or tweet them to us @livingblacklove (#1Plus). It's all about strengthening our relationships and this is an easy way to do it.

Is Your Tank Full?

Lately, if I do something that Johnny likes or appreciates, and I do it just for him, he'll say, "My tank is full." Then he'll make this gulp, gulp, gulp sound similar to gas being pumped into a car. I've been giving him a similar response if he does something nice for me. It's become our running joke, but it didn't come out of left field. It's a reference to a book we've both read, that I've studied in my small group (shout out to the ladies, past and present, of Women in Marriage at Zion Church!), and from which our pastor Keith Battle, has preached a whole series.

The book is The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. It's a thin book, a quick read, and very insightful. I'll spare you the details (mainly because it's worth your while to pick up the book. That, and the fact that I've been trying to finish this post for a week!). But I will ask...what do you think you love language is? And do you have any idea what love language your significant other speaks?

Excellente!

Johnny and I just got back from our fifth wedding this year (all of which united couples who are Living Black Love, by the way). Congrats to the new Mr. and Mrs. Thomas!

The wedding was beautiful, as all weddings are, but this one was extra-beautiful because it took place in beautiful Cancun, Mexico. (And yes, the trip was well-worth three "beautifuls".) Just as beautiful as the wedding was the resort where we stayed. It was the Excellence Playa Mujeres. Johnny and I have been to a few resorts (in Jamaica, Aruba, and Puerto Rico) in our years together. In comparison, those places were like LeBron vs. me (I'm 5'1") on the basketball court - no contest.

The Excellence was truly the nicest place we've ever been. Although we've only been to a handful of international destinations, this was probably the nicest place you've been, too. I can't wait to go to another Excellence Resort! Couples retreat, anyone???

Johnny having one of many all-inclusive drinks
(this was actually during the wedding reception)



Johnny and I at the wedding

Me hanging out on the balcony of our hotel room

One of the views from our balcony...

Another view...


And another. And our room was one of the least expensive the
resort offers.

I Love the Reeds!

Though I do love our real-life friends "C" and "D" Reed, they aren't the Reeds I speak of. I'm talking about the fictional family from BET's new show, "Reed Between the Lines". Not only are they easy on the eyes (dang, Malcolm-Jamal Warner!), but you can tell that they have a lot of love for each other. I love a good show with a good family dynamic.

Alex (played by Warner) and Carla (played by one of my all-time faves, Tracee Ellis Ross) are Living Black Love. They're really into each other. Both have careers, but their main focus is family. Alex and Carla always make time for their kids, whether it's teaching them a life lesson or sharing a laugh. More importantly, they put each other first. I've noticed that in every episode, there's a scene where they have some time alone. That's so important in a marriage - especially when there are children involved.

Something else that stood out to me is the fact that the oldest two children, twins Keenan and Kaci, are not Alex's biological children. That's something I'm sure many couples who are Living Black Love deal with every day. If you happened to miss the episode where that part of the story was mentioned, you'd never know! Alex's patience and love for the twins is no different than his actions toward the Reed's youngest (biological daughter), Alexis. And the same goes for Keenan and Kaci. The whole family just loves on one other. I love it!

Honestly, "Reed Between the Lines" gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside every time I watch. Now I'm just waiting to see how Alex and Carla's first big fight turns out...

Living Black Love Is...

• Spending the day with your hubby and your first child on his very first birthday.



• Seeing your husband beam with pride as the child the two of you created gets his first haircut.



• Taking photographs together in celebration of the day and wearing a smile (a real one).



• Opening birthday gifts together with your son who cares more about the pen you're writing with than the gifts that are being opened.



• Getting into a little spat with your hubby while opening said gifts, and knowing how to squash it and move on.



• Taking your little man to one of his favorite places - day care - to celebrate with his friends.



• Thanking God for blessing you with the hardest two jobs in the world - wife and mother.

Love This!

About a month ago, we dedicated our son to the Lord. For those who don't know, a Baby Dedication is similar to a Christening; the parents commit to raising their child as a Christian. One of the followers of this blog attending our son's Dedication, and this was her email to me after the fact. I asked if I could post it here, and she said it was no problem.

Thanks for inviting us to the ceremony. I loved you and Johnny’s letter to Little Johnny. I forgot to mention to you what I noticed at the dedication ceremony. It pleased me to see about 12 couples up on the stage getting their babies blessed. I have never seen that many couples at a baby dedication. There was only 1 single, teen mom in the group and at least she and her baby had the strong support of her family. Each couple read letters to the congregation and their child stating the promises that they were making in regards to the child’s upbringing. I noticed that about half the men took the lead in reading the personal statements and were really getting choked up upon talking about how much their children have changed their lives and how much they loved their children and wanted the best for them. So, I guess black love is not dead and all black men are not deadbeat dads. Thank God! Somebody needs to report on that in the media.

I hope you love this note as much as I do. Have a great weekend, all!