My Time is Tight!

A week ago, Beyoncé announced to the world that she was pregnant. I'm just writing about it. Really? A week later? This is the new story of my life - Living Black Love as a mommy. I have very little time for anything extra.

Before our son came into this world, all of our friends with kids told us things like "Enjoy your marriage for as long as you can", and "Babies change marriages". You hear it and take heed to it. But until you actually have that precious child in your care, you don't fully get it. Never in my life have I been so strapped for time (or utterly exhausted). Never have I prayed so much that my husband would just fall asleep before I make it into bed (I'm that tired sometimes). Never have my feet been so dry. Since having baby Johnny, there have been several occasions when I've left my house without...

• applying lotion


• ironing my clothes


• eating


• thoroughly combing my hair


• checking myself in the mirror


• wearing jewelry

What's funny is that Baby Johnny never leaves the house without...

• fully moisturized skin


• neat-looking clothes


• a full tummy


• his hair looking decent (as decent as I can get it because he has so much of it and won't let me comb it while he's awake unless he's playing on the floor of his bedroom, which requires me crawling around behind him to get it done).

I promise I am not complaining, because I also never leave the house without...

• giving my baby boy at least one big hug and kiss


• praying for his safety that day


• smiling at his "Good Morning" smile


• thanking God for the blessing of motherhood

So, to Beyoncé - congratulations on being pregnant. You and Jay-Z get ready to make "It's all about convenience" your mantra. You're about to experience the best time of your life.

One of my Facebook friends posted something today that irritated me. The post said something along the lines of, "there are still Black families out there. I was in store (or restaurant, or Starbucks maybe) and saw a husband and wife with their three children and a baby". I know my "friend" had good intentions, but he clearly didn't know what he was talking about. Seems our goal of dispelling the myth that Black folks don't get married is going to be harder to reach than we thought. It upsets me that there are still people out there who want to believe in Black love and marriage, but won't allow themselves to do so. Oh, y'all of little faith...

Yesterday, we hosted a barbeque for some of Johnny's friends from work. It was a small group of us eating, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. Our guests had a lot in common with one another - there was one couple who got married in May, another half-couple (one of them couldn't make it due to a family emergency) that is planning a wedding for early next year, and a third couple who recently got engaged.

As someone who can finally admit that my husband and I have passed through the honeymoon stage (Johnny's been telling me our wedding is "played out" for years now, so I guess I'm a young veteran), it was interesting to listen to the young couples as they spoke. They excitedly shared their engagement stories, wedding plans, honeymoon mishaps, and goals for the future (babies on the brain, of course!). What was really interesting to me was that they were so busy with the excitement of the weddings that they just planned or are planning, that they can't see that after some time, the magic of the wedding will fade away and reality will set in.

The busy-ness of life can easily creep into a marriage - work, children, bills, and other responsibilities - pushing out the optimism and allowing all kinds of negatives to come in. So my question is, what can we folks who are living black love do to keep our marriages as shiny as the rings we exchange on our wedding day?

The answer came to me as I texted a friend who's just over a week into her marriage (Ahh...I remember a week into my marriage. We were just returning home from our honeymoon in Aruba. Ahh...Aruba!). She shared with me how she's a little stressed about being a good wife to her new husband, with everything else that's going on in her life (see "busy-ness", above). I gave her some advice, but I think she gave me some too! I don't necessarily think you should stress about being a good wife (because stressing gets you nowhere) - but I do think you should give it all you've got (Like that song by I don't know who). And I believe that if you are even thinking about what you can do to be a good wife, that's a start. The same goes for the husbands.

So let's plan to take a hint from these and other "Young Marrieds". In their early days, weeks, and months of marriage, they are just as happy and grateful to be with the person they waited all their lives for. They stand in front of a bunch of people and cry as they open up their hearts to their betrothed. And they stress about being the best they can be for that person. Maybe we should think back how we felt in the beginning to help us strive to be the best spouses we can be. In the meantime, if you have any other suggestions, please post and share them.

6 Years of Living Black Love - and Counting!

No, that's not how long this blog has been around. It's the number of years some good friends of ours have been married. They celebrated their 6th wedding anniversary this past Saturday. Johnny and I, along with another couple, were there to help them celebrate.

We enjoyed a meal and a show at The Carlyle Club in Alexandria, VA. The show, which featured the music of Gerald LeVert, Teddy Pendergrass, and Barry White was put on by a company called Mad Jazz Poetry Productions. It was a really good time and the food was grrreat! On a side note, I'd love to take my mother to one of their shows whenever she comes to visit - she'd really enjoy it. Unfortunately, we have no pictures. Sadly, we had forgotten the camera in the car.

Getting back to the point...congrats to Mr. and Mrs. P on their 6th anniversary! Wishing you both many more - you deserve all the happiness in the world.

Game Night

If you spent your time listening to all the media hype, you'd believe that all Black women are single, searching for a "good Black man". You'd think that Black men don't want to be married. Excuse my french, but I think that's B.S.

A huge part of the inspiration for this blog are the married couples Johnny and I know. Whenever we spend time with our married friends, we leave feeling excited, encouraged, and recommitted to one another.

We recently attended a game night outing with seven other couples who are Living Black Love. Check out some of the pictures from that night. They are proof that Black love is alive and well.

Love Doesn't Always Last

I just learned that a colleague of mine is in the midst of a divorce. She and her soon-to-be ex-husband had been Living Black Love for 10-plus years. I'm always sad when marriages break up. I wish everyone could experience love and happiness forever, but we have to be realistic - it doesn't always work out that way.

I don't think any married person will deny that marriage is hard work. So let's take this as a reminder to love and enjoy our spouses, every minute of every day.

Honey, Can You Paint My Toes?

Earlier this week, I suffered from a case of naked toenails. I rarely ever go to the nail salon so I usually just paint my own. In recent weeks, I've realized I need to add toenail painting to the ever-growing list of things you can't do while pregnant (that list also includes eating lunch meat, sleeping, and breathing, among other things). So I came up with a great idea - to have Johnny paint my naked toes for me! At the very least, I thought it would be a great way to spend some quality time together.

When I asked, he obliged without hesitation, thought it took him a few days (and some complaining from me) to actually get to the job. But eventually, he painted these tootsies of mine! I taught him the proper technique for achieving a smooth finish, as well as the importance of a topcoat. I have to say, I may have micro-managed the process a little too much - but as with everything in our lives, Johnny was very patient with me.

In the end, he was a little unsure of himself and his potential as a master toe painter, but I am very pleased with the final product. I'm also happy to have a hubby who is there for every part of this pregnancy - even the parts that involve feet. Now that's Living Black Love.