One of my Facebook friends posted something today that irritated me. The post said something along the lines of, "there are still Black families out there. I was in store (or restaurant, or Starbucks maybe) and saw a husband and wife with their three children and a baby". I know my "friend" had good intentions, but he clearly didn't know what he was talking about. Seems our goal of dispelling the myth that Black folks don't get married is going to be harder to reach than we thought. It upsets me that there are still people out there who want to believe in Black love and marriage, but won't allow themselves to do so. Oh, y'all of little faith...
All about Black love: marriage, relationships, and family life.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Yesterday, we hosted a barbeque for some of Johnny's friends from work. It was a small group of us eating, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. Our guests had a lot in common with one another - there was one couple who got married in May, another half-couple (one of them couldn't make it due to a family emergency) that is planning a wedding for early next year, and a third couple who recently got engaged.
As someone who can finally admit that my husband and I have passed through the honeymoon stage (Johnny's been telling me our wedding is "played out" for years now, so I guess I'm a young veteran), it was interesting to listen to the young couples as they spoke. They excitedly shared their engagement stories, wedding plans, honeymoon mishaps, and goals for the future (babies on the brain, of course!). What was really interesting to me was that they were so busy with the excitement of the weddings that they just planned or are planning, that they can't see that after some time, the magic of the wedding will fade away and reality will set in.
The busy-ness of life can easily creep into a marriage - work, children, bills, and other responsibilities - pushing out the optimism and allowing all kinds of negatives to come in. So my question is, what can we folks who are living black love do to keep our marriages as shiny as the rings we exchange on our wedding day?
The answer came to me as I texted a friend who's just over a week into her marriage (Ahh...I remember a week into my marriage. We were just returning home from our honeymoon in Aruba. Ahh...Aruba!). She shared with me how she's a little stressed about being a good wife to her new husband, with everything else that's going on in her life (see "busy-ness", above). I gave her some advice, but I think she gave me some too! I don't necessarily think you should stress about being a good wife (because stressing gets you nowhere) - but I do think you should give it all you've got (Like that song by I don't know who). And I believe that if you are even thinking about what you can do to be a good wife, that's a start. The same goes for the husbands.
So let's plan to take a hint from these and other "Young Marrieds". In their early days, weeks, and months of marriage, they are just as happy and grateful to be with the person they waited all their lives for. They stand in front of a bunch of people and cry as they open up their hearts to their betrothed. And they stress about being the best they can be for that person. Maybe we should think back how we felt in the beginning to help us strive to be the best spouses we can be. In the meantime, if you have any other suggestions, please post and share them.
As someone who can finally admit that my husband and I have passed through the honeymoon stage (Johnny's been telling me our wedding is "played out" for years now, so I guess I'm a young veteran), it was interesting to listen to the young couples as they spoke. They excitedly shared their engagement stories, wedding plans, honeymoon mishaps, and goals for the future (babies on the brain, of course!). What was really interesting to me was that they were so busy with the excitement of the weddings that they just planned or are planning, that they can't see that after some time, the magic of the wedding will fade away and reality will set in.
The busy-ness of life can easily creep into a marriage - work, children, bills, and other responsibilities - pushing out the optimism and allowing all kinds of negatives to come in. So my question is, what can we folks who are living black love do to keep our marriages as shiny as the rings we exchange on our wedding day?
The answer came to me as I texted a friend who's just over a week into her marriage (Ahh...I remember a week into my marriage. We were just returning home from our honeymoon in Aruba. Ahh...Aruba!). She shared with me how she's a little stressed about being a good wife to her new husband, with everything else that's going on in her life (see "busy-ness", above). I gave her some advice, but I think she gave me some too! I don't necessarily think you should stress about being a good wife (because stressing gets you nowhere) - but I do think you should give it all you've got (Like that song by I don't know who). And I believe that if you are even thinking about what you can do to be a good wife, that's a start. The same goes for the husbands.
So let's plan to take a hint from these and other "Young Marrieds". In their early days, weeks, and months of marriage, they are just as happy and grateful to be with the person they waited all their lives for. They stand in front of a bunch of people and cry as they open up their hearts to their betrothed. And they stress about being the best they can be for that person. Maybe we should think back how we felt in the beginning to help us strive to be the best spouses we can be. In the meantime, if you have any other suggestions, please post and share them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)